Are we 落ちるing for the 広大な／多数の／重要な green 反対／詐欺?

工場／植物ing a tree to '相殺する' your holiday flight. 再生利用するing the old banger for a new car. Eating 有機の food. Is this REALLY helping save the 惑星?

全世界の warming is a terrible thing and we are all against it. So when a company 申し込む／申し出s to fight the dreaded 気候 change and - what's more - 支払う／賃金 you handsomely to do so, only the most extreme cynic could surely, かもしれない, 反対する. Take, for example, the 最新の wheeze from モーター 製造業者 Vauxhall.

If you want to buy a new car, the company 約束s to give you £1,000 貿易（する）-in for your old car - 関わりなく its age and 条件.

What is more, the 会社／堅い goes on to 約束 that your old car will then be scrapped, 除去するing thousands of what the company calls "いわゆる bangers, emitting choking exhaust ガス／煙s into the atmosphere".

Sound too good to be true? That's because it IS too good to be true. Vauxhall's "申し込む／申し出" is, in fact, no more than the 最新の in a growing 名簿（に載せる）／表（にあげる） of 気候 反対／詐欺s - marketing 策略s used by unscrupulous companies which use green 宣伝 to make you part with your cash.

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For the truth is that most, if not all, of these 策略s have little to do with the 環境 and everything to do with 利益（をあげる）s.

Of course, there's nothing wrong with 利益（をあげる）s, it's just that I wish companies would be more honest in their sales blurb.

Take the Vauxhall 申し込む／申し出. It is やめる true that an old, 不正に 持続するd car will usually 放出する more 汚染物s from its exhaust 麻薬を吸う than a brand new 乗り物 of 類似の 力／強力にする and 業績／成果.

But not all old cars are 不正に 持続するd, and because old cars tend to be はしけ than new ones, their 炭素 足跡 (i.e. fu el 消費) can often be 大幅に smaller.

Vauxhall （人命などを）奪う，主張するs that a new ディーゼル 放出するs 800kg of 炭酸ガス a year いっそう少なく than an old one.

Even if this 人物／姿／数字 were true, which I 疑問 (as Vauxhall assumes an 年次の mileage of 12,000, which is 現実に the 普通の／平均（する） in America, compared to our 9,000), it ignores a very important fact, すなわち the several tonnes of 炭酸ガス that are produced in the 製造（する） of a new car, and indeed the 処分 of an old one.

No wonder the Society of モーター 製造業者s and 仲買人s is beside itself with delight at the news.

A 類似の wheeze was tried a few years ago in Ireland, where the 政府 （機の）カム up with a cashback 計画／陰謀 for "汚染するing" old cars, to help the country's モーター 売買業者s.

But it's not just the モーター 産業 that's at it. Everywhere, companies and services are 落ちるing over themselves to be "green" - and the sad truth is that, like Vauxhall's, most of these （人命などを）奪う，主張するs are no more than marketing hype.

For instance, check into just about any hotel and you will be 直面するd with 調印するs piously asking you to help save the 環境 by 再使用するing towels and not wasting water.

Except, of course, the real 推論する／理由 is simple: the 管理／経営 wants you to help them 削減（する） their water and laundry 法案s.

いつかs, to 増強する the idea, the little card upon which the towel-嘆願 is printed is decorated with fluffy clouds and other green icons.

It would be more honest to say "削減（する） our costs and help the 環境", but they don't.

Take the 問題／発行する of 飛行機で行くing. We are now 軍隊d to feel we can assuage our 犯罪 by buying into one of the many 炭素-相殺する 計画／陰謀s on 申し込む／申し出.

The theory is simple: you can 修理 the 損失 created by your flight - in the form of 放出／発行s of 炭酸ガス (the main man-made 温室 gas) - or other profligate 消費, such as 運動ing a gas-guzzling car, by 支払う／賃金ing an 相殺する 会社／堅い to 基金 the cutting of CO2 producti on どこかよそで, for example by 工場／植物ing trees.

Such 計画／陰謀s sound 広大な／多数の／重要な, but they are no more than the modern 同等（の） of buying indulgences, the 中世 Roman カトリック教徒 practice whereby pious sinners could 支払う／賃金 priests to 避ける purgatory.

炭素 相殺する 計画／陰謀s are not only 貧しく audited but を煩う 根底となる 欠陥s, which mean that they are ありそうもない to 減ずる in any meaningful way 炭素 放出／発行s into the atmosphere.

There are myriad problems. How do you calculate the 量 of 炭素 that needs to be 相殺する?

The CarbonNeutral Company has worked out that a return flight from London to Bangkok 放出するs 2.1 tonnes of CO2 per 乗客. This, it calculates, costs around £24 to 相殺する.

However, the 競争相手 UK 会社／堅い 気候 Care calculates the 人物／姿／数字 at 2.78 tonnes - but reckons it will cost just £20.84 to make good the 環境の 負債 you 借りがある to 惑星 Earth.

Then there is the whole 厄介な 問題／発行する of what 正確に／まさに is the best way to 相殺する.

If you 工場／植物 a tree, it will indeed soak up CO2 from the atmosphere as it grows. But if you 燃やす that tree, or let it die and rot, all that 炭素 is put straight 支援する where it （機の）カム from.

によれば Michael Buick, of Oxford-based 気候 Care (which organises 炭素 offsetting for the Tory Party and the 後見人 newspaper, which is - 自然に - obsessed with 減ずるing its own 炭素 足跡), it is "difficult" to say for sure whether the 炭素 offsetting you are 支払う／賃金ing for wouldn't have happened anyway.

If the £50 which you are told will 補償する for the 損失 原因（となる）d by your 炭素 放出／発行s, say, buys a dozen low-energy lightbulbs for a Tanzanian village, then how do you know that these lightbulbs would not have been 購入（する）d anyway?

But the main problem with offsetting is that it is, at best, a sticking plaster.

If we are serious about 減ずるing 炭酸ガス 放出／発行s, then 簡単に 支払う／賃金ing £30 to a company every time we jet off to the tropics is the 同等（の） of putting a paper 捕らえる、獲得する over our 長，率いるs and wishing the problem away.

Sooner or later, people will see through these 計画／陰謀s but, in the 合間, there is money to be made from 犯罪.

Then there are the green "反対／詐欺s" 伴う／関わるing 有機の food. There is no 証拠 どれでも that it is better for you, and little real proof that such 刈るs are good for the 惑星.

Sure, some of it tastes better, and that may be 推論する／理由 enough, but for the most part, "有機の" = more 利益（をあげる）s.

Green aeroplanes? An oxymoron, surely. Not によれば Boeing, whose new 787 Dreamliner was 明かすd to such ファンファーレ／誇示 a few days ago.

It's got plastic wings and 燃料-efficient engines - and, によれば the company, will produce 20 per cent いっそう少なく CO2 per 乗客 mile.

All 井戸／弁護士席 and good, but in practice, more efficient 航空機 簡単に means lower ticket prices and thus more people 飛行機で行くing.

Everywhere, we are 砲撃するd with spurious green （人命などを）奪う，主張するs, which sound warm and fuzzy yet are 現実に meaningless.

Look at all those little symbols that companies love to 非難する on their 一括ing - little pictures of the Earth, 条件 like "eco- 安全な" and "Earth smart", which usually mean いっそう少なく than nothing.

The Advertising 基準s 当局 has 支配するd against several spurious （人命などを）奪う，主張するs of 青葉.

Unsurprisingly, car companies are some of the worst 違反者／犯罪者s. Toyota recently 述べるd its hybrid Lexus 4x4 as "無 犯罪" and was also taken to 仕事 for making 誇張するd （人命などを）奪う，主張するs about the 燃料 efficiency of its Prius hybrid car.

会議s and 政府s love going green, 特に when it can be used to raise 税金s.

The Borough of Richmond-upon-Thames, for example, penalises its 井戸／弁護士席-heeled 居住（者）s by 非難する them more to park いっそう少なく-efficient cars.

This sounds like excellent news until you realise that the 法律 of unintended consequences kicks in 急速な／放蕩な; 告発（する），告訴（する）／料金 people a fortune to park outside their houses durin g working hours, and for some 居住（者）s, the 経済的な argument against 運動ing to work evaporates faster than 賞与金 unleaded.

So the 逮捕する result, at least 最初, may be GREATER 放出／発行s of CO2, because this is a 税金 on inefficient cars standing still rather than 存在 driven.

This newspaper has 支持する／優勝者d the arguments against rubbish 貯蔵所 税金s and fortnightly collections - penny-pinching 対策 dressed up in green 着せる／賦与するs. Happily the public is seeing through this scam, as are MPs who last week damned the fortnightly 計画／陰謀s.

But that doesn't stop companies from continuing this green 猛攻撃.

British Gas seems obsessed with getting every house to buy a new boiler.

They say we will save money, and also that we will save the Earth. However, they don't について言及する the healthy 利益（をあげる） they will make (and the 複雑にするd 炭素-計算／見積りs 伴う／関わるd with making new gas boilers).

Everywhere you go these days, you are 招待するd to 支払う／賃金 more to go