EXCLUSIVE'I'm not a monster': Self-正当化するing 嘆願 of 殺し屋 teacher who 残酷に 殺人d serial cheat partner who called her 'fat' and threw tantrums if his dinner wasn't ready when he got home from work
Lying on the bed, his 注目する，もくろむs covered with a sleep mask, his 手渡すs bound with cable 関係, Nicholas Billingham never stood a chance.
He was 推定する／予想するing sex with his partner of 17 years. What he got instead was a knife 急落（する），激減（する）d into the base of his neck with such 軍隊 and 正確 that it almost 即時に 厳しいd his jugular vein.
Fiona Beal, the mother of his child, had 攻撃する，衝突する her 的.
'Left to 権利,' she had coached herself ahead of the attack, 隠すing the 武器 in her dressing gown. '負かす／撃墜する, slight 権利…left to 権利, 負かす／撃墜する, slight 権利.'
にもかかわらず the 負傷させる's severity, 42-year-old Mr Billingham did not die 即時に.
And, in the minute that medics say he would have had left to live, Beal （人命などを）奪う，主張するd in her 定期刊行物 that her partner had 設立する the strength to ask one question: 'Why?'
殺し屋 teacher Fiona Beal pleaded 有罪の to the 殺人 of partner Nicholas Billingham?
After one 事件／事情／状勢, Nicholas Billingham pleaded with Beal to take him 支援する, 説: 'I 行方不明になる relaxing with you, watching films with you and... 持つ／拘留するing you tight with my strong 武器'
It is a question that went to the very heart of this 深く，強烈に troubling 事例／患者.
Why did Beal - a mother and 最初の／主要な school teacher with no 前科 - 行為／法令／行動する as she did on that November night in 2021?
Because there was never any 論争 that 50-year-old Beal killed Mr Billingham. After all, she 認める it.
What two separate 陪審／陪審員団s would be asked to decide was what 動機づけるd the 殺人，大当り ? was it 殺人 or 過失致死?
Was this a 'broken' woman driven to kill a controlling, abusive, serial love cheat?
'Everyone has a breaking point, a button that can never go 支援する again,' Beal would subsequently 令状, referring to how her partner had 明らかに いじめ（る）d her the day before she killed him.
Or was this a woman, as th e 起訴 put it, of 'cunning, cruel, deceptive and devious nature?'
The lawyers （人命などを）奪う，主張するd Beal killed out of 復讐, believing her partner was having yet another 事件／事情／状勢. And that not only had she meticulously planned the 殺人, she had also worked out how to get away with it.
In the days and weeks that followed the 血まみれの 行為／法令／行動する, Beal 首尾よく 納得させるd 同僚s, friends and family that her partner had 簡単に run off with another woman. She even wrote messages on his phone and sent them to his 年輩の mother.
一方／合間 Beal got on with her life, …に出席するing a Christmas party, using his phone to 見解（をとる） online pornography and changing her 会議 税金 status from 二塁打 to 選び出す／独身 occupancy.
Nine days after she stabbed him to death, she had the wherewithal to use his credit card to 新たにする her TV licence.
All the while, Mr Billingham's decaying 死体 was lying buried in a handmade 墓／厳粛／彫る／重大な Beal had dug in the 支援する garden of their Northampton home.?
His '棺' was made of 微風 封鎖するs, 木材／素質 and sheets. On 最高の，を越す of it was a pile of 支持を得ようと努めるd chippings 購入（する）d from B&Q and a 工場／植物 マリファナ placed for decorative 影響.
The lawyers （人命などを）奪う，主張するd Beal killed out of 復讐, believing her partner was having yet another 事件／事情／状勢
Four months later, when she 恐れるd the game was up, Beal 始める，決める about 準備するing the way for when she was 結局 caught, 令状ing a 定期刊行物 in which she 詳細（に述べる）d the 乱用 she （人命などを）奪う，主張するd to have 苦しむd at her partner's 手渡すs. She even compared her 状況／情勢 to that portrayed in the 攻撃する，衝突する 1991 film Thelma & Louise, starring Geena Davis and Susan Sarandon, 説 she had changed from 存在 a 'doormat' to someone who stood up for herself.
'There's a 引用する from Thelma & Louise that feels appropriate,' Beal wrote. 'Thelma: 'You be 甘い to them, 特に your wife. My husband wasn't 甘い to me'.'
In the end, there was no need for a 陪審／陪審員団 to 精査する the fact from the fiction.
Beal's first 裁判，公判 last summer at Northampton 栄冠を与える 法廷，裁判所 崩壊（する）d after the 法廷，裁判所 heard 17 weeks of 証拠 に引き続いて an 問題／発行する with a defence character 証言，証人／目撃する.
Then, last week, the 事例／患者 re-started at the Old Bailey in London.
But today, Beal 劇的な changed her 嘆願 ? and 認める 殺人.
She will now be 宣告，判決d at the end of May with the Recorder of London, 裁判官 示す Lucraft, KC, telling her: 'You have this morning pleaded 有罪の to 殺人 and as no 疑問 you have been told the 宣告，判決 for 殺人 is life 監禁，拘置.'
This evening Mr Billingham's mother, Yvonne Valentine, （刑事）被告 Beal of lying about the 乱用 she'd （人命などを）奪う，主張するd to have 苦しむd.
'She never gave the impression of 存在 mistreated or 存在 unhappy with him,' Mrs Valentine said. 'To me, whenever I saw them they seemed like a normal couple. I didn' t recognise what she was 説 about him.'
She also 明らかにする／漏らすd that Beal had on one occasion 招待するd her over to their house, （人命などを）奪う，主張するing that her son had left her - when his 団体／死体 was in fact buried in the garden.
'She'd said Nick had gone up to Essex,' Mrs Valentine said. 'I noticed she'd moved some furniture ? it was to 封鎖する 接近 to the 支援する garden ? and when I commented on it she said, 'Oh, I'm glad you like it'. Fiona 申し込む／申し出d me a Christmas drink and I said 'Thank you'.?
'So I sat there with this drink but it always gets to me because Nick was buried in the garden just a few feet away and I didn't know he was there. I try not to think of it.'
It is （疑いを）晴らす Beal and Mr Billingham's 関係 had its ups and 負かす／撃墜するs. Mr Billingham was a serial cheat, as many people in his life knew.
And yet every time he 逸脱するd, Beal took him 支援する, 説得するd that he would change his ways.
For most of her life, Beal struggled with 不景気 and 苦悩. After 熟考する／考慮するing English at Luton University she qualified as a teacher, and became popular with both staff and pupils. 同僚s 述べるd her as 'amazing' and 'one of the best'.
She was 30 when she met Mr Billingham in a nightclub. He was four years her junior and not long after they met, their only child was born.
Raised in Northampton, Mr Billingham had moved from 職業 to 職業, firstly on a fruit and veg 立ち往生させる, then working in a garage and finally in a 導管 きれいにする 会社／堅い. When the pandemic 攻撃する，衝突する, he was made redundant, instead 選ぶing up work as a cash-in-手渡す 建設業者. While he only had a handful of friends, those who knew him 述べるd him as a hard-working man with a 'heart of gold'.
But he never endeared himself to Beal's family, to whom he was often rude and abrupt at get-togethers an d Christmases. He also 賭事d; in the year before he was killed, he lost £25,000 on three 賭事ing websites. It meant he struggled to 支払う／賃金 his way.
Officers at the couple's home in Kingsley, Northampton に引き続いて the 発見 of Mr Billingham's 団体／死体 in the 支援する garden
The 陪審／陪審員団 was shown （映画の）フィート数 of Beal at B&Q 購入（する）ing ten 50-litre 捕らえる、獲得するs of bark chippings, 同様に as ten large 捕らえる、獲得するs of Cotswold 石／投石する
Fiona Beal leaving B&Q in Northampton on November 13, 2021
But the recurring problem in their 関係 was his infidelity. During their time together, Mr Billingham was said to have cheated on his partner four times.
He first walked out on Beal for another woman when their child was three years old. Although he would subsequently return, it was a pattern that would be repeated throughout their 関係.
In 2011, the 法廷，裁判所 heard that he met barmaid Andria Farden at a pub in Earls Barton, Northamptonshire, where they lived. After a 簡潔な／要約する 関係, he broke it off but then 再会させるd with her in 2018 after messaging her on Facebook.?
The に引き続いて October Ms Farden discovered she was 妊娠している. When she told Mr Billingham the news, he made it 残酷に （疑いを）晴らす that he did not want to have a child with her.
Soon after, he 知らせるd Beal about what had been going on. She was '荒廃させるd' and Mr Billingham moved out of their home, 砲撃するing her with letters 約束ing to change his ways and begging her to have him 支援する.
'You are the most beautiful woman in the world, let's get that straight,' he wrote. 'You are so 肉親，親類d-hearted in every 選び出す／独身 way and if there were more people like you around, the world would be a better place. Did I ever make you think that you weren't the perfect woman for me? I 行方不明になる waking up with you and 落ちるing asleep with you. I 行方不明になる relaxing with you, watching films with you and cuddling you, 持つ／拘留するing you tight with my strong 武器.'
Beal yet again relented, 主張するing on a fresh start and a new home in Kingsley, Northampton, to put distance between him and his lover.
But the 緊張するs in their 関係 quickly re-現れるd during the Covid lockdown.
Giving 証拠 in her first, 中止するd, 裁判，公判, Beal said that Mr Billingham had changed from a 'loving and caring' partner to one who became 'obsessive' about keeping the house clean and who 絶えず ran her 負かす／撃墜する.
She told 賠審員s that he 推定する／予想するd dinner to be ready for him when he arrived home from work and if the plate was not heated up or the food was not up to his 基準s, he would 辞退する to eat.
Beal said: 'There were a couple of occasions where he threw the plate of dinner at the 塀で囲む. I left the house the first time it happened but it was still there when I （機の）カム 支援する so I had to clean it up.'
She also （人命などを）奪う，主張するd he would check the mileage on her car, 尋問 where she had been, and that he would be rude about friends and family, so that she stopped seeing them.
Beal 追加するd that Mr Billingham いつかs made comments about her 存在 'fat' or said: 'You're not going out like that, are you?'
Their 性の 関係 also 悪化する d, she （人命などを）奪う，主張するd, with Mr Billingham on one occasion 恐らく 持つ／拘留するing her 負かす／撃墜する on the bed and 軍隊ing her to 成し遂げる oral sex.
What 現実に happened on the night of November 1, 2021 can only be inferred from the 法廷の 調査 by the police and the 限られた／立憲的な 見解／翻訳／版s of events given by Beal, who （人命などを）奪う，主張するd to be unable to remember much of the 出来事/事件 or its 影響.
Asked if she could 解任する anything about stabbing her partner, Beal 明言する／公表するd: 'No - I thought that I had 攻撃する，衝突する him over the 長，率いる and that it happened in the bath.'
Beal, who says she was smoking up to ten cannabis spliffs a day in the run up to the 殺人，大当り, also referred to an alter ego she called Tulip22
She told 賠審員s that her only memories of burying his remains were 'a dragging sensation' and 'seeing what would have been the 団体／死体 wrapped in the dining room'.
血 spatters subsequently 設立する by police at the carefully cleaned scene of the stabbing show that Mr Billingham died lying in his bed, his 注目する，もくろむs covered with a sleep mask 耐えるing the words: 'This is my morning after 直面する.'
To give herself time to 配置する／処分する／したい気持ちにさせる of the 団体／死体, Beal （人命などを）奪う，主張するd that she and her partner had Covid. As she would later confide to her 定期刊行物, moving the 団体／死体 was 'much more difficult than on TV'. Mr Billingham was nearly 6ft tall and 重さを計るd 14st.
She then wrapped his 死体 in 貯蔵所 捕らえる、獲得するs, sheets and cable 関係 before burying it in the 支援する garden. The 陪審／陪審員団 was shown （映画の）フィート数 of Beal at B&Q 購入（する）ing ten 50-litre 捕らえる、獲得するs of bark chippings, 同様に as ten large 捕らえる、獲得するs of Cotswold 石／投石する.
The next 行う／開催する／段階 of the cover-up 含むd 説得するing anyone who knew the couple that Mr Billingham had left her for another woman.
Given his past behaviour it was not a 特に hard sell. Beal sent messages to friends and family from Mr Billingham's phone pretending to be him and 知らせるing him they had 分裂（する） up and he had moved away. To make it look like he had moved out, she 性質の／したい気がして of his 着せる／賦与するs and even a 挟む-製造者 he liked to use.
She repainted the bedroom, …に出席するd a Christmas work do with 同僚s, and travelled to London with her class of ten-year-olds on a school trip to the 王室の Ballet. Friends say she lost 負わせる and was 'bubbly and cheerful'.
公式文書，認めるs made by her before and after the 殺人 明らかにする／漏らす her thought 過程. The defence （人命などを）奪う，主張するd they were not a '自白' so much as 証拠 of a 乱すd mind.
On October 9, 2021, Beal wrote in a subsequently 削除するd 公式文書，認める on her phone: 'I have been 徐々に getting more depressed and suicidal ever since you （機の）カム 支援する…there have been some lovely moments but for the last six months-加える I have been in a very dark place. You're mean. You moan 絶えず and criticise everything. It's exhausting.'?
She went on to 述べる an argument over some 流出／こぼすd food. 'You go to the shop while I clean the mess up,' she wrote. 'No. There should be consequences.'
The に引き続いて February, Beal wrote in a notebook: 'I suppose I せねばならない explain what happened to get me to this point. My mental health had been 悪化するing. He was f****** around again. Whenever he was cheating he would up the 賭け金 on belittling, moaning and criticising.'
Beal, who says she was smoking up to ten cannabis spliffs a day in the run up to the 殺人，大当り, also referred to her alter ego ? Tulip22.
The 定期刊行物 continued: '承認する here goes. October 2021. He spat on me and 脅すd me during sex. I started plotting as Tulip22 after he'd gone to bed. I could no longer sleep in the bed 予定 to my breathing 存在 too loud or I moved too much or I was snoring or etc etc. I would have to go downstairs after sex and even when I was unwell. I got used to sleeping downstairs and waited for him to go to bed and then got high and let Tulip22 out. I knew I couldn't let him get away with it.'
In March 2022, five months after the 殺人, Beal disappeared. 関心d 親族s 警報d the police who traced her to a holiday 宿泊する in the Lake 地区. She was 設立する in a bath 苦しむing from superficial, self-（打撃，刑罰などを）与えるd 傷害s and with what appeared to be a 自殺 公式文書，認める. Interviewed by police, she （人命などを）奪う，主張するd, conveniently, to have no memory of the 殺人，大当り ? or her 活動／戦闘s in its 影響.
But in another 公式文書，認める 設立する by police, Beal spoke of the 犯罪 which had been 'strangling' her. She wrote: 'I am sorry I didn't leave him... I am sorry I am weak. I am sorry for what I did… do I 悔いる what I did? Of course I do, I'm not a monster.'
It is a （人命などを）奪う，主張する that - in the light of her admission to the 冷淡な-血d 殺人 and the 冷気／寒がらせるing cover-up that followed - now （犯罪の）一味s hollow.
